Let their approaches serve as your guide to insuring your kids will respond positively so you can make a smooth return to romance. Basically, you’d kill two birds with one stone—get what you needed for dinner and at the same time meet other singles in your situation.
Together, we discussed the kinds of qualities we thought that woman should have.I’m not sure if it was because of that talk, but they never once expressed hostility toward my dates!” —Maralynn, 43, Redondo Beach, CA “When I first began dating a woman after my divorce, my son was only 4.I introduced him to the idea — and to her — by telling him that I had a friend I wanted him to meet.I said I’d like to find someone intelligent, funny, kind and giving, and they listed that she should be able to make good chocolate-chip cookies and like to go to the amusement park.Once I started dating, I’d tell them I was going to look for a woman with all of the attributes we’d discussed, and that I’d report back to them on whether or not she met his requirements.
I think by making that list together, they felt less alienated—like I was interested in their opinions and not making a move without them in mind.” —Paul, 43, Boulder, CO “Before I began dating after my wife and I split, I sat down with my kids — who were 10 and 8 at the time — and told them that I was going to begin doing things like having dinner and seeing movies with some men, as a way of getting to know them and see if they were people that I might enjoy spending time with.
I told them that one day, I might like to meet someone who I would want to be with every day, like I used to be with their Dad, but that no matter who it was, no one would ever replace their Dad or keep them from spending time with their Dad.
f you’re a divorced parent, choosing the best way to break the news to your kids that you’re going to begin dating can be a tough task.
Some parents go with a full-disclosure, honesty-is-the-best-policy approach.
Others opt for a more subtle explanation in hopes of protecting their kids and minimizing a negative reaction.
If you worry about telling your kids that you’re diving back into the dating pool, heed the advice of these parents who’ve successfully broached the topic.