Of course it`s easier for these guys to date someone who isn`t subject to the same high pressures and limited free time that they are.``So, a couple of years ago, Kelly realized she was going to have to come to grips with the situation. She would have to.``I realized that in insisting on dating up, I had probably unreasonably limited my chances.`` So, she expanded her horizons.And eventually she became involved with a man who was 10 years older than she, but didn`t have her fancy graduate degrees and didn`t make nearly as much money. It didn`t seem to matter.``We had a ball for about six months.
``It became increasingly difficult for him to deal with my friends, who, by the way, liked him very much and included him in activities, with and without me. `` Complete the thought and send your reply, together with your name, address, and day and evening phone numbers to Cheryl Lavin, Tales from the Front, Chicago Tribune, 435 N. ``Because men of equal or higher status are mostly married, and those who aren`t are working horrendous hours at law firms, hospitals and investment banks.``That`s not all.Kelly says professional men are in a buyer`s market and they know it.They`ve got tons of professional women to date, they`ve got tons of non-professional women to date-``they feel no compunction whatsoever about dating down,`` they`ve got no ticking biological clock pushing them toward the altar, and so they`re having the time of their lives.If anything, it seems to Kelly that they actually prefer dating non-professional women.``My male friends say that dating successful professional women is too difficult.He began criticizing their large houses, sports cars and expensive vacations, because they seemed so out of his reach.``Kelly tried to make money a non-issue by ``splitting expenses, planning low-key casual outings, etc.,`` but it didn`t work. To me, they seem male-ego related, but I have to admit that I may somehow be contributing to them, without meaning to.``I don`t mean to whine, because I really am satisfied with the life choices I`ve made. - She: ``He has such presence, I don`t even notice his height.``- He: ``The key dating strategy for the `90s is to buy your significant other flowers for no reason, then forget her birthday the next week.``----------``I knew it was love .
Butch couldn`t take it anymore, and he broke up with her.``I was brokenhearted at the time, but we`re better friends now that he is no longer comparing his salary to my friends`.``Since Butch, Kelly has dated-mostly down-a variety of men, and the pattern has been the same.``They all vehemently state early on that they have no qualms about age, income or education discrepancies. But I`m firmly convinced that 30-plus professional women have it rough, dating-wise, and it only gets harder the older you get.
I have eight or 10 similarly situated female friends who are fun, attractive, intelligent and successful, and I know no men who are interested in meeting them.
She`s 32, tall (5 foot 8), attractive and well-educated, a lawyer ``with degrees from nationally acclaimed schools,`` and she`s pulling in a tidy little salary of ``just under $100,000 a year.``Sounds great, huh?
You`d think Kelly would have her choice of doctors, lawyers and bankers, lining up to take her out. Said Kelly, ``If I didn`t date down, I would hardly date at all.``And she says she`s not alone.
``Many of my professional female friends are in similar situations.``Why is that?
Why can`t Kelly and her friends date up, or even sideways?