If either partner is unavailable, scared, or not ready, then it is inevitable that being too available will hurt the relationship.However, if both people are ready and open, then being available makes for closer, more satisfying bonding.
You don't have permission to access /columns/datinginsideout/16on this server.Additionally, a 403 Forbidden error was encountered while trying to use an Error Document to handle the request.You may have heard that making yourself too available can damage a relationship.Perhaps you’ve even decided that the reason a past relationship failed was because you were just “there too much.” However, that might not be the case.In fact, if two people want to be in a secure and loving relationship where both partners feel safe to be open and vulnerable rather than guarded, then being available can bring the couple closer.Loving is an art, explains psychologist Erich Fromm in "The Art of Loving." To have a true, loving relationship, both people have to be ready, willing and able to give and receive love -- and when they’re not, that’s often why the relationship fails. Irvin Yalom states, “…two-broken winged birds coupled into one make for clumsy flight.
No amount of patience will help it fly, and ultimately, each must be pried from the other and wounds separately splintered.” What Dr.
Yalom is saying is that to have a successful relationship, both people have to be ready for love.
It’s not unusual for a person to say that he truly wants to be in an intimate relationship only to find that he’s consistently disappointed and frustrated with love because he’s just not ready for it.
To love someone genuinely, you first have to love yourself, notes Dr. If your partner has a secure sense of himself as a lovable person, he’s likely to want you to be available.
If he doesn’t, then it might be because he’s conflicted about taking the emotional risks necessary to be in an open, healthy relationship.
Moreover, if he feels unlovable, it will be nearly impossible for him to risk genuine, romantic love.